Lenten Live Series 2026 #2 – Human Formation

Lenten Live Series 2026 #2 – Human Formation

by Annie, ARK

One of the factors that heavily influences trust in adults is our attachment styles.

Attachment Styles = enduring patterns of emotional and behavioral responses in close relationships, rooted in early childhood bonds with primary caregivers.

Our attachment styles influence our patterns of trust and resilience in adult relationships. Because our attachment styles are largely formed before we have the cognitive skills to rationalize and understand them, they can be largely unconscious and sometimes hard to identify.

The following are types of attachment styles:

Secure attachment: this is where trust comes easily to a person and they have a general belief that their needs will be met.

Anxious attachment: this can result from inconsistency in early relationships, and might look like needing a lot of reassurance, fear of abandonment, and strong fear of rejection.

Avoidant attachment: this is where people maybe did not have emotional needs met because caregivers were emotionally distant. Someone with avoidant attachment might see vulnerability in relationship as weakness, might keep people at arm’s length and be overly self-reliant and closed off to intimacy.

Disorganized attachment: This happens when early caregiving was maybe a bit chaotic or scattered, or hot and cold. Someone with disorganized attachment might push someone away one minute and try to pull them close the next. They want the closeness and intimacy, but they are afraid to trust it, and try to anticipate betrayal before it happens.

Our attachment styles influence how we show up in our relationships and how much we trust others, or don’t trust others, and gives us a bit of an insight into WHY we might have a hard time with trust. If we have a hard time with trust it can also impact our relationship with God or our spiritual lives. We often think of God in a human framework, and if we have an insecure attachment style it might extend to God, where we think that we can’t trust God or that he’s going to be inconsistent, distant, or love us only conditionally. But we have to remember that God is not like a human in this way, and we can trust God completely.

Attachment styles are not set in stone, they can change and be rewritten over time and with new experiences. If you feel your attachment style might be impacting your ability to trust others, or trust God, there are things we can do to increase our trust and alter our attachment style:

Consciously practice trusting. Challenge yourself to trust more with small trust exercises. Resisting the urge to check up on someone; asking for help; choosing to believe someone; challenging our suspicions; opening up in small ways, etc.

Becoming aware of your attachment style. Contemplate what your attachment style is, how or why it was formed that way, what influences your mistrust, etc.

Identifying the evidence that you can trust people and have safe relationships. The best way to relearn or unlearn unhealthy experiences is by having novel, healthy experiences with people.

Setting Boundaries. If we continue to allow ourselves to be hurt, or for the same patterns of betrayal to happen over and over again, we are going to continue to believe that people will let us down (because we are letting it happen). Set clear boundaries with people who have proven not to be trustworthy, and be thoughtful about the people you allow into your “inner circle.”

Contemplative Prayer. Bring all of your contemplation on this topic into prayer with God and ask him to illuminate these areas for you and to help you to practice trusting him.

Talking about it. Some people benefit from professional support in this area to examine past traumas in a safe space; sometimes just speaking informally with someone safe such as a friend or partner can help you to process and make sense of these things in your mind.

Below are somereflective exercises you could try right away:

1. Contemplate what your attachment style might be and how it impacts your relationships with other people, and your relationship with God.

2. If you identify any areas where mistrust might be having an influence in your life, take it into prayer and consider how you can increase trust in small ways.

If you are interested in this topic, consider taking our Mothers of the Church course for more information (not just for biological mothers but for anyone interested in the impact of maternity).